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In Effigy

from Pacing To by Masm + Tamura

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lyrics

1 am, I left the office after overtime
to make sure nobody would follow me
not that the midshift was any less forgiving,
still, better to be safe
this day and age

I pushed the glass door open
the seven’s lit alone in the parking lot
the cashier looked on with a furrowed brow
maybe he knew what I was doing by then
we eyed each other for a while

but he just went back to reading
his nursing manual, and I took out my list
not that I needed it, I should’ve memorized it already
there were a few things left to cross out
maybe it’s comfort blanket thing

two mung beans : two eyes
a brown cotton body, sewn together
red thread, shell pieces, cellophane
after getting the limbs right
whiteboard marker shoes

I think I wanted
to feel a sense of continuity
strawberry bootlaces

I suppose it was enough a semblance it wasn’t
needed to have it mirror-close I’ve stitched
it up and glued the rest in the car
it’d be good to know what keeps it together
through the burning of the night

bodies rolling in the spiral glass and piss
marked streets peeling towards the points
of impact - plastered nicknames
I knew it all

maybe I hoped
for the longest time
because of the prickly feeling
of arm hairs rising
It must’ve been reaching
out to me, through the screen

I stepped out and disappeared
through the looming trees I could
almost imagine him sitting up there
with long legs and a downturned gaze
watching me wade in the grass
staining my silly dolls

I made it to the abandoned lightning rod
placing myself on a sharp stick
without ceremony, I doused it in cooking oil
without ceremony, I flicked the lighter on

the way you can chain them together
if you lick the ends and squeeze
a sense of roundness

when the fires died
I picked through the ash
when the ashes settled
I dug a little plot
and covered what remained
with dirt and a flag
a jungle of flags in a jungle

two mung beans : two eyes
a brown cotton body, sewn together
red thread, stone pieces, cellophane

Cy Tamura

credits

from Pacing To, released April 26, 2016

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Crooked Tree Records AL, Brazil

⛥2016 - ✟2020

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